Belonging
Date: 08 December 2025
I have recently read 3 great books on leadership, focused on team development and building a sports dynasty (winning multiple championships)
Eleven Rings by Phil Jackson
How Phil Jackson, as a coach, won 11 NBA Championships
This along with ‘The Trillion Dollar Coach’, which is the playbook of Bill Campbell, are my two all time favorite books
The Fearless Organisation, by Amy Edmunson
Creating psychological safety in the workplace for learning, innovation and growth
Cultures of Growth, by Mary C Murphy
How the new science of mindset can transform individuals, teams and organisations. (Mary was the student of Carol Dweck who wrote Mindset, another great book on Leadership and Parenting).
When I read these books, I always try to take away 3 learnings from my readings to reflect on and to practice as a new behaviour. Any more than three, will be an overload that will not allow me to develop new habits. But after reading these three books, the one learning that I never read - or at least stood out and stuck with me - was the importance of BELONGING … and it is just so obvious to me now.
People have a natural desire to want to belong to a cause or a team. One of the main characteristics of an effective team is formed because the people have a sense of belonging to the cause and to the people that make up the team.
We will all know of, or may have unfortunately experienced, a person who was ostracized from a society or a group. The impact it has on the individual can be very harmful and long lasting; but if you are responsible for building a true team, then you need to realize the harmful effect it will have on the team as well.
When Michael Jordan went into retirement for the first time in his storied NBA career to go and try to play professional baseball, he rediscovered the sense of belonging. Spending time with his baseball teammates had him rediscover the joy of bonding with others.
Creating the culture of Belonging is now such an obvious leadership principle to me. Implementing this principle in the safety of a book is very different then implementing and practicing it in real life situations. As leaders we need to make difficult decisions, we need to have honest conversations, and we need to do this with all our own flaws. Creating a Belonging culture sounds easy and obvious, but in practice or in the heat of the moment, it is not always going to be easy and obvious. My only suggestion when it is one of these difficult moments, is to be authentic and let your intentions guide you.
If this concept resonates with you, then become the Affiliative type of Leader:
Affiliative leaders create emotional bonds and harmony.
They’re communicators and relationship builders. Their mindset is, “People come first.”
This style values people above all else. These leaders want people to be happy and motivated.
At its best, this style inspires fierce loyalty and drives teamwork.
These leaders are positive and build a sense of belonging in an organization.
They are culture builders.
I know we need more of them in our environments
Other thoughts on Belonging:
Guy Kawasaki's Remarkable People podcast:
Vanessa Druskat: How to Build Emotionally Intelligent Teams
“In order for connection to happen, we have to be able to be seen”, Brene Brown
Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs
We are one
Date: 08 June 2020
Our prime purpose in life is to help others and if you cannot help them, at least do not hurt them - Dalia Lama
The Danger of a Single Story
‘The problem with stereotype stories is not that they are not true but that they are incomplete’
Note: I mentioned last week that I would expand more on my comment, What I hope the use of a mask is forcing us to do, is to be more conscious of the words we are using and to listen with intent.’, from last week’s thought; but following the events of the past few weeks, my thoughts were elsewhere.
Not another VC call
Date: 03 May 2020
Not another VC call
A number of us have become pretty good at using video conferencing (VC) these days. I would not say that I am a master, but I am slowly getting there. My VC platforms have been Zoom, FaceTime, Skype, Whereby and this week it will be Microsoft Teams. During some of these calls I have experienced moments that some people would want to hit replay and do over again, but we are all learning on these new ways of working.
For most of us, living and working through video conferencing is fairly new and has brought about two challenges: replicating the work collaboration environment and no longer having that barrier that separates one from work and their personal life. This week, I thought I would share a couple of ideas that were shared with me on how to deal with these challenges.
Collaborating
How do you create that feeling of bumping into someone in the hallway to grab a quick conversation? If you are the leader with an office, how do you leave your ‘office door’ open so anyone can come in to shoot the breeze or talk to you about a topic they need your help or guidance on. Instead of setting up yet another VC meeting, why not dedicate an hour to work at your desk and leave your VC channel open. This way anyone can just pop in to talk as if they met you in the hallway or stepped into ‘your office’. The conversation may trigger you to bring someone else into the conversation to collaborate even further.
I miss taking a walk with a colleague to get a tea, coffee or a snack just to get a mental break from the day. How about taking that 15- or 30-minute mental break by playing an online game with a colleague? We all need a mental break from being in front of our work or on another VC. There are plenty of online games that you will have fun with and feel energized afterwards to tackle that email you are trying to find the right words to reply with.
Work and Personal life
One of the benefits of the work and personal life barrier falling, is that we realize that we are more similar than not. We also need to ensure we give each other the time and respect with this barrier falling as people are managing work and life at the same time and at times, in the same room with you.
One way a leader is appreciating their co-worker's work-life balance is by sending pancake mix to their co-workers’ home so they can enjoy it with their family over the weekend. The leader only asks that everyone send a picture of their favorite pancake shape to share with the group.
Do a team audio conference call but require all to do the call while they are walking. But what about notes or actions, then take turns with one person staying home to write up the notes and actions.
One company is telling team members that between certain hours, they are all to take a break from their computer and have the time to themselves.
Spend the first 15 minutes of your team meeting sharing ideas of how they are trying to enjoy the weekend. Maybe new hobbies and friendships will be formed, or you may realize that we are all pretty much the same.
I hope you have a great week
There is no 'I' in team ... but there is an 'I' in win!
Date: 22 May 2019
Michael Jordan, one of my three favorite basketball players of all time, and in his mid-50’s is still the benchmark for all professional basketball players, had said the quote above.
When I first heard it, I really did not understand what he meant by it ... did he really mean to say that it is the single high performing competitive individual that wins games? Even he knew that he could not win games by himself; in fact, he has on many occasions recognized his team-mates and coaches through out the years, for winning games and championships.
I have been thinking about this quote for the past few weeks, but I have been thinking about the 'There is no I in team' part ... Why?
I have been fortunate to have been involved in many initiatives where we were getting more and more to a place where the success of the initiative was out of my hands and into of the hands of the team.
In some aspects, it is frustrating not to be able to accomplish and do the things they each did; but it is also exciting to learn from each of them and see them achieve the things they did.
These moments remind me on the priority of the team over the 'I' and the role each team member has to play in making the vision succeed.
I will do what I can, but it will not be as impactful as what each of the team members do.
During Michael Jordan's induction to the Basketball Hall of Fame, he told the story of this quote. It came from an interaction he and one of his assistant coaches, Tex Winter, were having after a game where the team was losing in the final few minutes but came back to win, predominately because of Michael Jordan.
I can remember a game, we were down [by] about 5 to 10 points, I go off [scoring] about 25 points, we come back and win the game, we're walking off the floor. Tex (Winter) looks at me and says "There's no "I" in team!" I looked at Tex and say, "There's not, but there's an 'I' in win!"
Michael Jordan was one of the most competitive athletes ever and he went on to say that what he meant by this quote was that he will do what it takes to win, whether that is to play as a team or play as an individual if that is what is needed.
We will all have our 'I' moments but I know that my 'I' moments have been because of the people I have worked with.
#thoughtfortheweek